Trump To Be Awarded Nobel War Prize
President Donald Trump is tipped to be the first recipient of the newly created ‘Nobel War Prize’, following his attacks on an Iranian nuclear facility, potentially escalating a tense situation into...
View ArticleX Just Gives Up And Permanently Pins ‘WW3’ To Top Of Trending Bar
The artist formerly known as Twitter, ‘X’, has decided to just make everything easier for everyone by pinning the phrase ‘WW3’ to the top of their trending bar. As users have been quick to point out,...
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Jerome Powell Bullish On Crypto, Plans To Release Own Coin
US Federal Reserve Chairman Jerome Powell has announced plans to release his own personal cryptocurrency, POWCOIN in order to cash in on recent bullishness around crypto. Just yesterday, Powell spoke...
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Jim Cramer Removes Michael Burry Mask He’s Been Wearing For Two Years
Mad Money host and cursed prophet of bad takes, James ‘Jim’ Cramer has revealed that he’s been in disguise as investor of Big Short fame, Michael Burry for years. The Scooby Doo reveal explains Burry’s...
View ArticleDollar Tumbles After Trump Announces Son Eric To Replace Jerome Powell
The dollar dropped massively after Donald Trump said he was looking at three or four people to replace “stupid” Fed Chair Jerome Powell. And whilst everyone was kept in suspense, bookies went wild with...
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Crypto Becomes Asset For Mortgages, Fartcoin Now Worth ‘Abandoned Warehouse...
In news that would give any boomer an aneurysm, the US Federal Housing Finance Agency has just issued an order to value Bitcoin and crypto as assets for a mortgage. Yeah, but I ain’t reading all that...
View ArticleCanada Scraps US Digital Tax, Apologises 26,000 Times
The United States of Canada (remember them?) has repealed its tech-attacking tax bill in a desperate attempt to appease its almighty god south of the border. Whilst last-minute pull-outs are not...
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Crying America Begs Mommy And Daddy To Stop Fighting
Millions of people across America are collectively standing in a bedroom doorway, crying for Elon Musk and Donald Trump to end their bitter feud. The once-perfect pairing of two overpowered narcissists...
View ArticleBezos Sells Amazon Shares To Pay For Wedding, Narrowly Avoids Bankruptcy
Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos has sold off $737 million worth of Amazon ($AMZN) shares in order to fund his lavish wedding in Venice this week. Even though he ticked next-day delivery at checkout, Bezos’...
View ArticleTrump Reveals Plan To Tax Gambling Losses, Degens Now 10% More Unlucky
Trump’s Big Beautiful Bill just got a gambling amendment from the Senate as it makes its way to the final rounds of debate that might cripple all you unlucky degens out there. An iddy-biddy beautiful...
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