Despite repeated requests to ensure a peaceful transfer of power, musician Taylor Swift has refused to accept the election results should Donald Trump win.
“My legion of Swifties shalt rise from the earth, march upon the capitol with the crash of a thousand feet, and see those hallowed halls bathed in flame before I call that man my king,” Ms. Swift said during a concert yesterday.
With over 284 million followers on Instagram, experts predict that should Swift raise her banners, every single one of them would march on the capitol to prevent the election from being ratified.
“How canst power bestowed upon a tyrant be deemed ‘free and fair’?” Ms. Swift continued, “Were we to hand a killer his own blade, would we call that justice? Nay, I say!”
Taylor Swift has a long history of election scepticism claiming that all elections prior to her more recent endorsements were rigged. Despite having an album called, ‘Red’, Swift has criticized Republican Donald Trump for inciting violence, calling her a cat lady and heckling her during a concert.
As her Eras Tour begins its last leg, fans have noticed that Swift plays fewer and fewer songs favoring instead political rants and chants. Potentially Swift is attempting to counterbalance Trump’s rallies which now feature more music than speeches.
“When ripped from the people’s grasp a democracy will bleed and die! Slay the fiend that holds power from us! Fight! Fight! Fight!” Taytay shouted before an acoustic rendition of ‘Shake It Off’.
Of the songs remaining on the setlist, Swift has altered their lyrics to include subtle political messages. Examples include, “I’ve got a blank vote, baby, and you’ll write my name,” “I knew you were trouble when you were voted in,” and “Because baby, now we got bad blood, you know it’s a flawed electoral college system,” and so on.
Most controversially, Taylor Swift stated that, “A stolen, rigged election would be an election without a vote for Taylor Swift” Wait, what did she say? She’s running? I’m confused, I thought she supported Kamala, hold on. “A vote for Swift is a vote for me!” No, wait, she’s not running. “I have conquered music. I have conquered fashion. ALL THAT IS LEFT FOR ME TO CONQUER IS THE WORLD!” No, Taylor, stop, no, please, she’s too powerful, oh Jesus! “BOW, SERVILE BEFORE MY MIGHT, GAZE IN TERROR UPON THE GLEAMING FACE OF GOD AND SEAR THE NAME OF ‘TAYLOR’ UPON THY LIPS!!!”
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