HAPPY LIBERATION DAY! Millions Dead
Donald Trump’s liberation day is finally upon us, praise be! As was foretold in the prophecies of yore, “And lo, the one who has a hue of orange shalt descend from his tower and proclaim the taxes to...
View ArticleElon Musk Buys “Failing” NASDAQ, Renames It ‘X-Stonks Exchange’
BREAKING NEWS: In an effort to infinitely diversify his portfolio, the richest man in the world, Elon Musk, has bought Nasdaq, Inc., the company that owns and operates the Nasdaq stock market. NASDAQ...
View ArticleMike Waltz Caught Gmailing Hillary Clinton
In a bizarre twist of events that seems to bring everything full circle, leaked emails show Donald Trump’s National Security Advisor in an unsecure Gmail chain with former presidential failure, Hillary...
View ArticleTesla Stock Self-Drives Into Canyon
Electric car manufacturer Tesla has taken its largest stock hit in its history as sales plunged 13% this quarter. But CEO Elon Musk assures stockholders that this is all part of the plan and Tesla...
View ArticleTARIFF UPDATE: Trump Announces Pause On Exemptions To Pauses
President Donald Trump has clarified his already exceedingly clear explanation on his exemption to the tariff pause. Tweeting on Truth Social, Trump explained that exemptions to the restrictions might...
View ArticleAfter Failure Of ‘Up’ And ‘Down’, Trump To Trial Secret ‘Third Direction’ For...
In an idea that has never before been tried for good reason, Donald ‘The Jay’ Trump will attempt to add a secret third direction to the US stock markets after no one seemed to like the ups and downs of...
View ArticleTrump’s $2bn Funding Freeze Forces Harvard Students To Pay Tuition Fees
For the first time since opening some time ago, students at prestigious Harvard University for the Quietly Perturbed will now have to pay full price, just like everyone else. The change comes after the...
View ArticleKaty Perry Struggling To Readjust To Life On Earth, “Space Is My True Home Now”
Unmasked singer, Katheryn Elizabeth Hudson, AKA Katy Perry, has opened up about her struggle with adjusting to life back on Earth following her marketing stunt, sorry, ‘mission’ to visit the atmosphere...
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HEARTBREAKING: Rabid Monkey In Charge Of Tariffs Dies
It’s quiet in the halls of the White House today. A dark cloud has descended over the Washington skies. Pumpulina, the Capuchin monkey who decided tariffs for foreign exports, has sadly passed away at...
View ArticleFrito-Lay Takes $5.5 Billion Hit After Trump Bans Chip Exports
Snack company, Frito-Lay has claimed it’s going to lose $5.5 billion dollars (USD) after Washington has placed new restrictions on the export of H20 chips, which I guess is just plain salted flavor?...
View ArticleJD Vance Wins Award For ‘Most Dropped Award’
Look, we’ve all got more important things to be doing, but Jonathon David Vance has just been awarded the award for biggest fumble, which he then promptly fumbled. The award comes in response to the...
View ArticleJD Vance Pleads Not Guilty To Pope Murder
Jay Dee ‘JD’ Vance has pleaded not guilty to the murder of Pope Francis despite being the last man to see him alive and having a compelling motive. The Vice President met with THE Pope to admonish him...
View ArticleTrump’s Top 10 Picks To Replace Jerome Powell
President Donald Trump has lashed out at Federal Reserve Chair Jerome Powell, calling him “a major loser” and “Mr. Too Late” for not lowering interest rates. With his firing potentially imminent, here...
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Gold Now Worth Its Weight In Gold
Gold has reached an ATH (all-time highest amount), rising to over $3,500 an ounce for the first time, making it one of the most precious metals in the world. The boost comes after Donald J. Trump (the...
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Elon Leaves DOGE To Focus On Kids, No, Wait, Tesla
Richest man in the world and part-time most powerful man in the world, Elon Reeve Musk (‘erm’ for short) has announced that he will be significantly cutting back from his work at DOGE in order to focus...
View ArticleTrump Denies Plan To Fire Powell, Tesla’s New ‘Fed-Bot’ “Just For Decoration”
It’s been a busy week, what with Trump threatening Fed Chair Jerome Powell, then saying that he wouldn’t fire him, even though, oh boy, does he want to. At the same time, Elon Musk has said he plans to...
View ArticleTop 5 Degen Bets This Week
Welcome back to Wall Street Memes, your only source for news, memes, and streets named after walls (West Wall Street, Midland, Texas, anyone?). But we’re also the home of top bets, tips, stakes, and...
View ArticleTrump’s Top 100 Achievements In 100 Days
PREVIOUSLY on America… Can you believe it’s only been 100 days of Trump’s second term? Me neither. And already he’s changed so much. In case you just woke up from a coma, here’s a recap of the 100 most...
View ArticleChina Sets Trump To Mute On Trade Talks
Beijing has denied claims by Donald Trump that they talk “every day” about tariffs and that they are ‘besties’. Instead, China says that they have set Trump’s WhatsApp to ‘mute’ and are considering...
View ArticleBREAKING: 100 Men Arrested For Attacking Zoo Gorilla
One hundred unarmed men have been arrested for breaking into the gorilla enclosure known as ‘Gorilla World’ at the Cincinnati Zoo. Reportedly, the men were encouraged to trespass following an online...
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